


A Light for My Path

by ownedbyacat



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3115733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ownedbyacat/pseuds/ownedbyacat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all those who go off road have truly lost their way. Written for the flashfic challenge over at dbsk_flashfic on livejournal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Light for My Path

**Author's Note:**

> *Off Road* is one of my favourite tracks right now and it gave me the idea to try to write my very first ever song fic. Due to the fact that I'm battling a vicious cold, it's not the most cheerful piece I've ever come up with. Apologies for that.
> 
> All lines in italics are, of course, song lyrics. Borrowed, not stolen. :-)

### Changmin: Off Road

_** We were so good at one point ** _

The worst day was the day they came home exhausted and hungry to an apartment that suddenly echoed around them.

The dinner table, scene of battles and reconciliations, where once they'd found solace in each other, was far too large. They settled opposite each other with bowls of noodles and cups of tea as they'd done countless nights before and suddenly there was plenty of elbow room. Nobody jostled Changmin when he reached for his mug, or complained when he snatched the last bite of kimchee.

Their world had broken into two pieces. Jagged, uneven pieces that no longer fit together seamlessly, no longer breathed the same air, no longer dreamed the same dream.

Changmin pushed his bowl aside and rested his head on the table, desperately trying to find his centre. He'd never meant to, but over the years they'd been together he'd begun to take for granted what they'd had. Losing it just… hurt. Far more than he'd ever be able or ready to admit.  
  
 _ **It would be better if you were a stranger**_

Yunho's bright smile was gone. Along with his boundless energy and enthusiasm. Some days, he barely surfaced from the dark corner where he mourned their dreams.

On those days, Changmin wished that the past had never happened. He wished that they'd never met, had never been placed with each other. For a time, he even wished they'd never become Dong Bang Shin Ki.

Because it was less painful to never have loved than to have loved and lost. Because letting strangers walk out of his life wouldn't tear his soul to ragged shreds, wouldn't drown his dreams in red oceans of hate.

Strangers never knew him well enough to hurt him the way friends could do so easily. And watching Yunho grieve and grieving himself, Changmin wished they'd all remained strangers.

  
_** Even if you dream a different dream, stay by my side ** _

For years they'd followed a well-travelled road, used the maps they were handed, attended to every sign that loomed in their path, only to arrive at a place where the road disappeared into rugged wilderness. Without direction, without guidance and beset by perils they travelled on, too stubborn to stop. They clung to the rough track, determined not to lose their dream, convinced that the fact they'd stayed together meant something.

When they stood on a stage again, saw the lights, heard the crowd and took their bows exhausted but elated, Changmin was sure of it.

That night he directed their driver to a record store before they were taken home. And once home they ate their dinner on the sofa listening to voices they knew as well as their own.

Dreams unfolded and filled their living room along with melodies and lyrics. Not theirs, but no so different from theirs after all.

_**  
We’re not there yet, even if we’re off-road ** _

Some days were hard, others bright and some bittersweet. As time passed, Changmin found himself developing a special taste for the bittersweet ones.

There was the day when he should have been sleeping and spent it instead watching drama from sunrise to sunset. There was a day when he suffered his stylist to torture him for hours, only because he wanted to attend a film premiere when he wasn't required to do so. There was the day he sacrificed time with his family to slip unseen into a crowded auditorium and leave as quietly and unseen before the final curtain.

Bittersweet days were days when Twitter brought images that made him shake his head, when he caught glimpses of slim hips and large, expressive eyes across the crowded dancefloor of some popular club. Or when his phone woke him in the middle of the night with four text messages, all wishing him a happy birthday.

There was no doubt that their once so smooth road was broken up by rugged stretches. There was no doubt that crossing those stretches was arduous, and fraught with pain and danger. There might be times when they all lost sight of one another, when their maps sent them in different directions or when they ran out of fuel to continue the journey.

But as Changmin grew older and wiser, he learned that even the off-road stretches were part of the journey. And they hadn't reached the end of the road just yet.


End file.
